Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick

What is it about being sick that makes everything around you grind to a halt?
I have been in pretty frail condition lately - actually, I am a frail person in general. I have a fairly crappy immune system, and when I was a kid, this manifested itself in about 6 or 7 colds/throat infections/ear infections/general bouts of oozing fluid a year. Now, my immune system has toughened up a little, but I also take horrible care of myself. This means that I deal with a lot of migraines, I'm always sleepy, and I'm generally in a crabby mood because my body simply CAN'T HANDLE the amount of caffeine and sugar and crap I put into it.
On an unrelated note, I am not a particularly pleasant person to be around.
But usually, I am JUST able to hold it together because by body is generally able to function. Like, I can drag myself from one place to another; I can keep my eyes open (unless the room I'm in has those really aggressive fluorescent lights, in which case I sometimes have to put my head flat down on a desk and emit a long, low moan - it's okay, all the cool kids do it); and I can usually communicate in pretty coherent sentences. Mostly.
But then when I'm sick, that shit just FALLS APART, man. Everything unravels fantastically into utter and complete chaos. I become completely unable to keep together all the things on which I had a tenuous grasp before. Those tests I was going to cram for? How am I supposed to study if I CAN'T SEE through my swollen, puffy eyes? That article I was supposed to write? My hands are occupied with kleenex, and so are unable to type (they are also unable to do ANYTHING ELSE hands do, like feed me, hold things, or lie still while I'm trying to sleep). Also, my body is all shaky and weak, so my mobility is restricted to shifting on the couch, walking to the fridge, and then walking back to the couch. Sometimes, I'll stand up for a moment to see if my legs still work, but that's only if I'm feeling particularly brave.
When this happens, I always have this mini revelation about myself. To most people, this is called COMMON SENSE, but to me it seems like a miraculous epiphany every time it happens. I'll be lying on the couch, blowing my nose continuously, and then I'll stop. And I'll realize...
"Hey. Maybe I should...TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. Then, I wouldn't get sick! And I would feel good all the time! Then I could do OTHER THINGS that I usually don't do because I'm busy falling asleep or...falling asleep..."
And I will sit still for a moment, awash in the wonder of this realization. And I'll start to get hyped up by my brilliant idea, and I'll say to myself: "Iris, maybe, once you get healthy again and the little aliens in your body stop plugging up your sinuses, you can start taking care of yourself! You can eat real food again, and exercise, and sleep at normal times like everyone else."
And then I'll nod to myself and mutter happily, and smile (and then wince because smiling makes the dry, irritated skin around my nose crack open like angry fault lines).
Sometimes, when I eventually get healthy again, I'll try to put this plan into action. Maybe it lasts for a little while - last January, it lasted for about three weeks before I crashed and burned. But the end result is always the same: I get so worn out from trying to keep up this regime of health and success that both regimes fail spectacularly at once. The result? Me, blubbering over a failed math test while spooning chocolate frosting DIRECTLY INTO MY MOUTH, not stopping even when I've eaten so much that it's starting to taste weirdly spicy because my tastebuds have been incapacitated by the sugar levels, growling at anyone who comes near me and ABSOLUTELY REFUSING to do anything that functional human beings do, like clean or shower or change my clothes or tend to my responsibilities. This lasts for awhile until I become so disgusted with myself that I am compelled to pick myself up and try again. And it goes pretty well - I'm not healthy, but I'm functional.
And then I get sick.
The moral of this story? Don't try to be healthy - it'll just wear you out.
Must go blow my nose.